Holding on to hurt and anger is a drain on you, not the person who upset you. Being unable to forgive, maintains a blockage within you for moving forward and this must be cleared to have any chance of a happier future.
Forgiveness is a tricky area as it can bring up so many thoughts and feelings. Sometimes you question forgiving someone who has done wrong by you, other times you may be looking to forgive yourself for situations you take blame for. Even deciding whether forgiveness is appropriate or not can bring discomfort and uncertainty. If this is an area you struggle with, talking it through with someone outside of your everyday life gives you the chance to say out loud all those thoughts that you might feel you need to hide from others, and decide what is right for you.
Psychologist, Consultant Clinical Psychologist (HCPC registered), PhD, MSc, MSc, MSc, MA (Econ), BA (Econ) Hons
Forgiveness has its place. Sometimes it is appropriate; sometimes it is not. In fact I think it is fair to say that forgiveness per se is overrated. Forgiveness is not a statement, but an experience. Sometimes forgiveness is a healing experience for the individual. My counselling would aim to identify whether forgiveness is appropriate in relation to your individual circumstances, and if so to enable you to achieve it as a form of healing; and if not, to help you find another path to fulfillment.
Forgiveness is difficult to learn but immensely rewarding. It should be one of the core elements in our lives. I realised that early in life, I have managed it and I want others to do so, too.