Grief Counseling

What is Grief?

What is grief and how do you deal with It? Losing someone or something you love can be very painful and overwhelming. Extreme sadness mixed with other surprising emotions such as shock, anger, and guilt is a normal and necessary reaction to loss. Everyone grieves differently, but allowing yourself to experience grief is an important and healthy part of the healing process.

Grief is an emotional response to a loss. Often the most intense grief is in response to the loss of a loved one or a divorce, but grief can also be experienced from the loss of other things that were important such as a job, a pet, a friendship, or safety after a trauma, financial stability, and so on. Significant changes in your life such as a move, a job change, or retirement can lead to feelings of grief and mourning for your old life. Typically, the more significant a loss is, the more intense feelings of grief will be. It is important to understand the symptoms of grief as well as when you may need to seek help.

If the emotions of grief and loss become overwhelming, or interfere with your ability to care for yourself it may be time to seek help from a professional. A trained grief counselor can help guide you through the grief process and assist you in understanding and coping with the intense emotions you are feeling.

Stage or Symptoms of Grief & Loss

Grief is multifaceted with emotional, physical, social, behavioral, and spiritual aspects. Depending on the person’s personality, family values, culture, and religious beliefs, grief will manifest in a variety of ways. Researchers have moved away from the conventional view that grief moves through orderly and predictable stages in a linear fashion. Instead, a person can experience phases of grief spread out and repeated several times. Some days will feel like your level of coping with grief is moving backward.

There is not a typical response to a loss, nor a normal timeline for grieving. However, there are some common symptoms of grief:

These emotions become less intense over time and as you begin to accept the loss. The sadness may never completely go away, but it shouldn’t remain in the forefront of your mind either. In time, you will be able to move forward and find peace. Grief may feel like it will last forever and that you will never feel better. Each phase is painful and uncomfortable but moving through the stages of grief is the way toward healing.

Many people would rather suppress the feelings associated with grief, yet this doesn’t make them go away. Instead, feelings of sadness, guilt, and anger will persist until a person eventually accepts and allows them.

However, if you do not feel any forward momentum day after day, or your grief is getting worse, it may be a sign that grief has triggered more serious mental health problems such as major depression or prolonged grief disorder. If the pain of grief is so severe and constant that it keeps you from resuming your life, it’s a sign that you require professional help to cope with your feelings of loss.

Tips for Coping with Grief and Loss

Being gentle and understanding with yourself, the best way to deal with grief is to allow yourself to experience the emotions and feelings as they arise. In addition to accepting your feelings, there are other things you can do to help yourself during this difficult time:

Tip #1 – Do Not Grieve Alone

The most important factor in healing from loss is having sufficient support from your family, your friends, your faith, a bereavement support group and/or a therapist or grief counselor. Sharing your loss makes the burden of grief easier to carry.

Some ways in which a strong social support network can help with the grieving process include:

• Friends and family can help with the funeral arrangements or help with the many new responsibilities you may have. Friends and family can also provide a shoulder to lean on or can lend an ear when you need to talk about your feelings.
• Religion can offer comfort with mourning rituals and community activities.
• Bereavement support groups provide an opportunity to share your sorrow with others who can relate to your loss and how you feel.
• A grief counselor or therapist can help you work through these intense emotions of grief in a safe and constructive setting.

Tip #2 –  Practice Self-Care 

The stress of a major loss can negatively affect your immune system, placing you at risk for illness. Now more than ever, it is imperative you take care of your physical and emotional health. Because the mind and body are connected and you will need your health in order to face and properly manage your grief.

Avoiding your feelings will only prolong the inevitable, and unresolved grief can lead to complications such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse or prolonged health problems.

Some tips to staying healthy through the grieving period are:

Do something creative. Expressing your feelings in a creative manner can help you to move through them more effectively – write, scrapbook, paint or get involved in a cause that honors the memory of your loved one. Allowing yourself to get lost in a creative project can be a welcome break from the sorrow that you’re feeling.

Eat, sleep and exercise. Your physical health is directly connected to your emotional well-being. Fight the stress and fatigue of grief with healthy lifestyle choices. Gentle exercising, aiming for eight hours of sleep each night, and eating nutritious and wholesome foods, even if you don’t feel like it, will keep your body strong and healthy even when you do not feel that way emotionally

Be patient with yourself. There is no set time frame, or list of emotions you “should” feel. Let yourself feel what you need to feel without judgment or shame. It may seem that others have moved on or processed the loss quicker or more easily than you have, but allow yourself to go through your own unique grief process without comparing your feelings to your perception of how others are coping.

Understand your grief triggers. It’s normal for certain milestones or holidays to trigger sad memories and intense feelings of grief. Be prepared. It can be very effective and therapeutic to plan ahead and make sure you have a constructive outlet to grieve on an impending day. This could mean letting friends and family know that you’ll need extra support during that period, taking a day off work to allow yourself the space to grieve, or perhaps scheduling plans to keep busy during a difficult time.

Tip #3 – Seek Professional Grief Counseling

Many find that additional support from a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist helps to promote a healthy healing process, especially if the grief is prolonged. Grief is a process in which the more you understand and actively work through, the more effective the healing is.

A professional counselor can help guide you through the grief process and assist you in understanding and coping with the intense emotions you are feeling. It can be difficult to navigate grief alone and a trained professional can help you make sense of your feelings after a significant loss.

Here are some common types of therapy used in grief counseling:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This type of therapy helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns related to grief, helping them to reframe their thinking and cope more effectively with their emotions.
• Complicated Grief Therapy (CGT): Specifically designed for people experiencing prolonged grief, CGT combines elements of CBT with grief-focused interventions, helping clients to accept the reality of their loss and gradually re-engage with life.
• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): This approach helps individuals accept their grief as part of their emotional experience while also encouraging them to focus on values-driven behaviors that can help them move forward in life.
• Narrative Therapy: In this form of therapy, individuals are encouraged to share and reshape the story of their loss, often helping them to find meaning and create a new perspective on their life and future.
• Group Therapy: Many people find comfort in sharing their grief journey with others who have experienced similar losses. Group therapy provides social support and shared healing in a safe space.
• Art Therapy: For some individuals, expressing grief through creative outlets such as drawing, painting, or writing can be a therapeutic way to process complex emotions.
• Trauma-Focused Therapy: In cases of traumatic grief, therapy may incorporate trauma-focused approaches, such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) or other trauma-informed techniques, to address the traumatic elements of the loss.

Treatment and Support Options for Grief

Psychotherapy – A psychologist, psychiatrist, or another mental health professional can help you deal with feelings of grief and loss. In psychotherapy, people are encouraged to discover the deep emotions they are experiencing as part of their grieving process so they begin to work through them and learn to accept their loss.

Medication – While grief is a natural process, in some cases it can trigger or exacerbate mental health conditions like depression or anxiety. For individuals experiencing prolonged or complicated grief, doctors may prescribe medications such as antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications to help manage overwhelming emotions. These medications are typically used in conjunction with therapy to reduce symptoms like insomnia, panic attacks, or deep, prolonged sadness. Medication does not “cure” grief but can provide relief from debilitating symptoms while individuals work through their emotions with professional support​

Alternative Therapies – In addition to talk therapy as a way of dealing with grief, there are many things that an individual can do to channel their intense emotions after a loss. Self-care activities like meditation, massage, journaling, spending time in nature, and social support are all useful outlets for helping to cope with grief.

Find a Therapist for Help with Grief & Loss

If you or a loved one is experiencing a significant loss, search TherapyTribe for a grief counselor today. There are many options for counselors in an area near you or for online therapy if that’s an option that you might prefer.

If you or someone you know is struggling with grief, help is available. 

CASE STUDY

Post-Pandemic Update on Grief Disorder

The pandemic left millions of people with grief. Grief researchers say that the pandemic has caused significant increases in the number of people who are at risk of developing prolonged grief disorder. COVID deaths have affected people of color and low-income communities disproportionately. Therefore, these populations may be at an increased risk of prolonged grief. 

Part of the reason for the increased risk of prolonged grief disorder comes from the fact that there tends to be a lot of trauma associated with COVID deaths, especially since family members may be isolated from the person. Also, the pandemic has changed the way that people are allowed to grieve, such as by limiting gatherings. This can make it hard for a person to grieve normally. 

References

1. Paul K. Maciejewski, P. D. (2007, February 21). An empirical examination of the stage theory of grief. JAMA. Retrieved November 16, 2022, from https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/205661  
2. Scientific American. (2021, May 19). Retrieved November 16, 2022, from https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/covid-has-put-the-world-at-risk-of-prolonged-grief-disorder/
3. Psychiatry.org – Prolonged Grief Disorder. Available at: https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/prolonged-grief-disorder (Accessed: November 16, 2022). 
4. American Psychological Association. (2021). Prolonged grief disorder: Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.). APA Publishing. https://doi.org/10.1037/0000165-000
5. Ohwovoriole, T. (2024). Complicated grief: Symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/complicated-grief-symptoms-diagnosis-and-treatment-5089396
6. Mayderry, H. (2024). 9 types of grief people may experience, according to experts. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/types-of-grief-people-may-experience-7504728
7. Gupta, S. (2023). Disenfranchised grief: Definition, causes, impact, and coping. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/disenfranchised-grief-definition-causes-impact-and-coping-5221901