Daniel Snow

Therapy that specializes in helping relationships repair, heal, and grow. Relationships are a vital part of life that can affect us in many ways. When there is distress in our most important relationship, it can cause anxiety, sadness, and depression. It affects not only feelings but our physical well-being as well. Causes for relationship distress include emotional distance and disconnection- the feeling of drifting apart. A lack of physical affection and connection is another cause of distress, often fueled by insufficient emotional connection. Other times, people might feel that they "can't do anything right" for their partner, and are the target of criticism or blame. Others might feel unimportant to their partner- somewhere towards the bottom of the priority list. For others, it can be simply not having the time and space to spend together, either due to life demands such as parenting or work, or avoidance. Some might feel that there is seldom or never a satisfactory ending to a conversation- either because they did not feel heard or understood, or because talks tend to escalate into fights. For others, there may be an accumulating feeling of resentment, especially when there is a perceived imbalance in power, finances, or daily responsibilities in the relationship. And for others, there may have been a breach of trust. This can range from the discovery of an affair to an emotional affair, or a lack of reliability around other things, such as money or sharing information that was private to the relationship. It's not uncommon for one partner to want to work on making the relationship better, and for the other to hold back. There are several reasons for this. The first is that people may hesitate to go to couples therapy, not knowing what to expect and with a worry that the therapist may take one partners' side over the other. The other is that it may involve disclosing or saying things to the partner that they are not ready to share, or that they know would be hurtful, even devastating to the other. Another is when one partner feels the other would be unreceptive and sees the issue only in terms of the other partner needing to change. A healthy relationship is one that can withstand disagreements and the occasional friction. Its basis is rooted in mutual trust, respect, and safety. It involves knowing how to approach each other in the way that the other wants or prefers. It involves being able to communicate in such a way as to avoid defensiveness wherever possible, leaving open room for shared vulnerability, meaningful contact, and mutual empathy and goodwill. Put another way, a healthy relationship involves two people who want to contribute to each other's happiness, while not being solely responsible for it, and who are able to see that they can be successful in adding that happiness to the life of the other.