While the belief in the 1980s was that the impact of divorce is profound and can persist into adulthood, influencing children’s emotional well-being, relationships, and even physical health, these ideas began facing challenges primarily in the late 1990s and early 2000s. New research suggested that many children are resilient and can adapt well after divorce, especially with early therapeutic support. Other researchers highlighted that the context of the divorce and interventions like therapy (including art therapy and play therapy) can significantly reduce its negative impact on children. This debate continues to evolve with more recent research.
How does divorce impact infants?
Infants do not understand the concept of divorce or the reasons behind the changes happening around them. However, they are highly sensitive to changes in their environment and routines. They may react to divorce by showing signs of distress, such as increased fussiness or clinginess, as they pick up on the emotional and physical absence of a parent and the overall stress in the household.
Parents can help their infants by maintaining a consistent routine for their emotional security.
What are common reactions of toddlers (1-3 years old) to divorce?
Toddlers (1-3 years old) commonly react to divorce with increased clinginess, crying, and tantrums as they sense changes in their environment and the emotional atmosphere around them. They may also regress to earlier behaviors, such as wanting a bottle or having difficulties with toilet training. These reactions are their way of coping with the stress and uncertainty caused by the changes in their family structure.
Parents can help their toddlers by providing extra attention and consistent routines to feel secure.
How do preschoolers typically respond to their parents’ divorce?
Preschoolers (typically ages 3-5) often react to their parents’ divorce with feelings of guilt, thinking they might be responsible for the separation. They may also experience anxiety, have nightmares, and show signs of regression, such as bed-wetting. Preschoolers need reassurance and clear explanations and open communication to know that the divorce is not their fault.
What challenges do school-age children face during divorce?
School-age children (typically ages 6-12) often experience feelings of abandonment, anger, and loyalty conflicts during their parents’ divorce. They might blame one parent for the separation and struggle with feelings of loss and sadness. These emotions can lead to behavioral issues at home and school, including trouble concentrating, withdrawal, or acting out. School-age children benefit from open communication, reassurance, and stability to help them navigate the changes.
Similar to preschoolers, school-age children need to feel secure and understand the divorce isn’t their fault.
How can parents help children of all ages cope with divorce?
Parents can help children of all ages cope with divorce by maintaining consistent routines, providing plenty of reassurance and physical affection, and keeping communication open and age-appropriate. Minimizing exposure to parental conflict and working together as co-parents to create a stable environment are also crucial. Seeking support, such as art therapy and counseling, can further assist children in processing their emotions and adjusting to the changes.
How can art therapy help children of divorce?
Art therapy and play therapy are highly effective in helping children of divorce process their emotions and adjust to the significant changes in their family dynamics. These therapeutic approaches allow children to express their feelings in a non-verbal, creative way, which can be particularly beneficial for those who struggle with articulating complex emotions verbally.
Art therapists in Toronto help children externalize their thoughts and feelings, making them more manageable, while play therapy provides a safe space for them to explore and understand their emotions through play. Art therapy (and play therapy) are developmentally appropriate and tailored to meet the individual needs of each child, helping them build resilience and cope more effectively with the stress and uncertainty that often accompany divorce.
How can Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) help children of divorce?
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT is one of the approaches that can be used to help children of divorce. CBT is highlighted for its effectiveness in addressing the negative thought patterns and behaviors that children might develop in response to the emotional stress of divorce.
CBT therapists in Toronto focus on helping children understand and challenge their thoughts and beliefs related to the divorce, ultimately leading to healthier emotional responses and coping strategies. By working through CBT, children can learn to manage their emotions, reduce anxiety, and build resilience during the difficult transition period following their parents’ divorce. CBT is especially helpful for school aged children.
In sum, Divorce affects children differently depending on their age. Consistency, reassurance, and open communication are key to helping children cope during and after divorce. Early age interventions, such as art therapy, play therapy, and psychotherapy can help children learn coping skills and express their emotions in a healthy and adaptive way.
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