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Do you Have a Teenager Who Is Depressed or Lonely

Rubino Counseling Services
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Because we do not deal well with mental health the same way as we deal with physical health in our society, there are a lot of myths about mental health.  This is a big mistake our society makes because in order to be healthy you need to pay attention to your physical and mental health.  As I said there are a lot of myths and misconceptions about mental health in our society, there are especially a lot of myths and misconceptions about depression.  One big myth is that suicides increase during the Holidays due to depression, however, this is not true.  The Suicide rate does not increase significantly during the holidays because we focus a great deal on suicide and suicide crises lines during the Holidays.  While the number of people feeling suicidal does significantly increase during the Holiday Season (CDC), the number of people feeling lonely does significantly increase during the Holidays.  While the CDC has documented an epidemic of depressed teenagers, the FDA has also documented an epidemic of loneliness for adults and teenagers.  We have seen depression and loneliness increasing since the pandemic.  I have had many more children and teenagers reporting symptoms of depression, anxiety and feeling lonely this year.  Since I work with children and teenagers as a psychotherapist, I have had more parents wondering if their child is experiencing depression, anxiety or loneliness during this time of year.  Since I am asked the question often, I was reading an article by Dr. Jerome Yelder, Sr., which outlined many symptoms of depression.  He explained them so they are easy to understand and covered all symptoms parents need to be aware of regarding depression.  This is important because typically children and teenagers do not act like adults do when they feel depressed or lonely.  Teenagers and children tend to act out when they are feeling depressed or lonely.  Therefore, parents may misinterpret their child’s behavior as a school problem or problems with friends.  If a child or teen is depressed or lonely it is important that they receive the appropriate mental health care.  Therefore, I have outlined his list below for you to review and decide if you feel your teenager needs to see a mental health clinician for depression or loneliness.

Sleep Problems

Depression can affect your body as well as your mind. Trouble falling or staying asleep is common in people who are depressed. But some may find that they get too much shut-eye.

Chest Pain

It can be a sign of heart, lung, or stomach problems, so see your doctor to rule out those causes. Sometimes, though, it’s a symptom of depression.

Depression can also raise your risk of heart disease. Plus, people who’ve had heart attacks are more likely to be depressed.

Fatigue and Exhaustion

If you feel so tired that you don’t have energy for everyday tasks — even when you sleep or rest a lot — it may be a sign that you’re depressed. Depression and fatigue together tend to make both conditions seem worse.

Aching Muscles and Joints

When you live with ongoing pain it can raise your risk of depression.

Depression may also lead to pain because the two conditions share chemical messengers in the brain. People who are depressed are three times as likely to get regular pain.

Digestive Problems

Our brains and digestive systems are strongly connected, which is why many of us get stomachaches or nausea when we’re stressed or worried. Depression can get you in your gut too — causing nausea, indigestion, diarrhea, or constipation.

Headaches

One study shows that people with major depression are three times more likely to have migraines, and people with migraines are five times more likely to get depressed.

Changes in Appetite or Weight

Some people feel less hungry when they get depressed. Others can’t stop eating. The result can be weight gain or loss, along with lack of energy. Depression has been linked to eating disorders like bulimia, anorexia, or binge eating.

Back Pain

When it hurts you there on a regular basis, it may contribute to depression. And people who are depressed may be four times more likely to get intense, disabling neck or back pain.

Agitated and Restless

Sleep problems or other depression symptoms can make you feel this way. Men are more likely than women to be irritable when they’re depressed.

Sexual Problems

Hopefully your teenager is not sexually active.  While they may not have the sexual problems adults do, when they are depressed, they may show a lack of interest in dating or relationships and tend to isolate.  They also may feel they are sexually unattractive.  Teenagers may also feel that they are unattractive or feel that they can’t socialize with girls or boys because they are incompetent when they are depressed.

If you’re depressed, you might lose your interest in sex. Some prescription drugs that treat depression can also take away your drive and affect performance. Talk to your doctor about your medicine options.

Exercise

Research suggests that if you do it regularly, it releases chemicals in your brain that make you feel good, improve your mood, and reduce your sensitivity to pain. Although physical activity alone won’t cure depression, it can help ease it over the long term. If you’re depressed, it can sometimes be hard to get the energy to exercise. But try to remember that it can ease fatigue and help you sleep better.

If you feel you child or teenager are experiencing 3 or 4 of  the above symptoms, they may be depressed.  If you feel they may be depressed then arrange for them to be evaluated by a mental health clinician who specializes in treating children and teenagers.  Remember, children and teenagers often display different symptoms when they are depressed so it is often misdiagnosed by clinicians who do not regularly treat teenagers.  Also do not be embarrassed or ashamed.  The CDC has already documented an epidemic of teenagers dealing with depression.  Their generation has had to deal with mass shootings and a deadly pandemic.  No other generation of children or teenagers have had to deal with the stress and pressure that this generation of children including college students has grown up with on a daily basis. Therefore, it is not surprising that so many children and teenagers are dealing with depression.  The important point is that we make mental health treatment available and affordable to all the children and teenagers in this generation who need it.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 25 years experience treating teenagers and children.  For more information about Dr. Rubino’s work and private practice visit his website www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page www.facebook.com/drrubino3 or follow him on X @RubinoTherapy.