For many people the Holidays can be a stressful time. For some people there is the stress of not having enough money. For others, they lost a loved one this year and this is the first Holiday without their loved one. For others, there are family issues that make this a difficult time of the year. Finally, for people with mental health issues, the Holidays can be a very difficult time.
For people with mental health issues the Holidays can be difficult for many reasons. Many of their daily struggles can increase significantly because of Holiday expectations. For example someone dealing with family issues or financial issues may find that the Holidays significantly increase these issues. The pressure to spend time with family and extended family members and everyone ideally is having a good time. However, there may be family issues in the family because they do not understand the mental health issues some is facing or they feel they are not trying hard enough so the person with the mental health issue feels like they are being blamed for their issue. A person with a mental health issue may be struggling financially to afford psychotherapy, a psychiatrist and their medication which is often very expensive. Therefore, they may not be able to afford Holiday gifts which can make them feel like a failure. Additionally during the Holidays everyone is supposed to feel happy and if you are dealing with emotional issues plus financial stress, it may be very difficult to feel happy during the Holidays. The person often feels they have nothing to be happy for during the Holidays. Also some people with mental health issues may find the Holidays difficult because their condition is not stabilized yet or the Holidays can be a trigger for their mental health issues. I see this with the patients I work with who are Bipolar or patients who are dealing with eating disorders. Just to name a couple of mental health issues that are triggered by the Holidays. Imagine dealing with an eating disorder during the Holidays. People are having special dinners or parties and they usually revolve around food. Some with Anorexia is trying to figure out how they can get through the Holidays without many people noticing that they are not eating. A person who overeats is trying to get through the Holidays without gaining a lot of weight. Bottom line, it is a stressful situation for someone with an eating issue during the Holidays.
People who are suffering with mental health issues that are triggered by the Holidays need support and understanding. You cannot just tell them to pull it together or to take a pill. It is not that easy for them. If it was, they would automatically take those steps on their own to solve the situation. We need to remember this fact and if we know someone is dealing with a mental health issue during the Holidays, we may want to try asking how we can be supportive to them during this time. You need to be sensitive in how you ask this question. You don’t want to make the person feel incompetent or like they are a charity case.
There are some things that people with mental health issues can do that may help them. Dr. Pooky Knightsman, who deals with her own mental health issues, describes some of these options in her video. I have included a link to it so you can watch it. If you have a loved one who has mental health issues, please watch this video and may be you and suggest some of these ideas to your loved one. If they work that would be fantastic for the person coping with mental health issues. If they do not work, please understand the person is not having issues on purpose. If you love them you need to be patient and understanding and help them through this difficult time. Here is the link to Dr. Knightsman YouTube video https://youtu.be/ch5JLIYyPtU.
Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with 25 years experience treating children, teenagers and trauma survivors including first responders. Many of his patients have Bipolar I and II. For more information regarding Dr. Rubino’s work or his private practice visit his website www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at Facebook.com/drrubino3.