I am someone who believes in marriage. I myself have been in a successful twenty-five-plus-year marriage. I believe that it is possible to have a healthy, happy and passionate marriage. Even though statistics today indicate the state of the institution of marriage is rocky, I am hopeful. I believe that very often those who end up heading down the divorce road do so because they do not have the tools to navigate the sometimes rough waters of marriage. People get bored and don’t have the emotional discipline to hang in there. Also the advent of children is a challenge to a marriage. I observe that people don’t have the tools to cope with that. People play out their family-culture dysfunction without knowing they are doing so. People have addictions and aren’t getting help. People are codependent, enabling, overworked, exhausted, impatient, irritable, blame-oriented, feeling like the victim and living from their hurt-child perspective.
In therapy we try to leave no stone unturned regarding working on a rocky relationship. But if the couple, after lots of work decide that they can no longer be together, some amazing couples work can be done to have a healthy, peaceful divorce with minimal scar tissue done to themselves and their children.