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Why Intentions Matter

Carrie Jones, LPC

Every day, we perform hundreds of actions, many of which are habits or routines we’ve formed over time. But have you ever stopped to consider why you’re doing them? The intention behind an action can drastically change not only our experience of that action but its long-term impact on our mental well-being and self-perception. It’s not just what we do that matters—it’s why we’re doing it.

Consider the example of preparing a healthy meal. The same action can be approached with vastly different intentions. One person might be cooking a nutritious dinner because they believe they must meet a certain standard to be worthy of acceptance. Another person, however, might be preparing the same meal as an expression of care for their body, honoring it as something that deserves nurturing. Both actions look the same on the surface, but the intentions are worlds apart—and so are the outcomes.

The Impact of Our Intentions

The reasons behind our actions often affect our mental and emotional experience. When we perform a task with negative or self-critical intentions, it can create stress, erode self-worth, or feel like an endless chore. However, when we do the same thing with a positive, value-driven intention, it can uplift us, increase resilience, and make the task itself more fulfilling.

Here are some reasons why intention plays such a crucial role in our actions:

  1. Positive Intentions Create Positive Associations: When our actions stem from a place of kindness and acceptance, they build positive mental associations, enhancing the experience and our motivation to continue. The same action can feel rewarding or draining, depending on its motivation.

  2. Intentional Actions Improve Self-Compassion: Acting out of self-compassion can shift our relationship with ourselves. When our actions are driven by a desire for self-care rather than criticism or shame, we cultivate kindness towards ourselves, building resilience and self-worth.

  3. Intentions Shape Our Experiences: Imagine doing something because you “have to” versus because you “want to.” That shift can turn a routine task into something meaningful. Our intentions act as the lens through which we see the world, adding depth and significance to otherwise ordinary activities.

An Example of Intention Shaping Action: Learning a New Skill

Let’s look at someone named Jamie, who has started learning to play the guitar. Jamie’s intention could go two ways. They might be learning because they believe it will make them more interesting or impressive to others. With this intention, every practice session feels like a test of their self-worth, and they’re constantly scrutinizing their mistakes. The practice becomes a stressful chore, and Jamie starts to feel defeated or like they’re not progressing “fast enough.”

Now, consider Jamie practicing with a different intention: to enjoy the process of learning and to connect with something they’ve always wanted to explore. Here, the focus shifts away from judgment and onto discovery. The same activity of practicing guitar becomes something fun and fulfilling—a form of self-expression that Jamie looks forward to each day. Mistakes are no longer setbacks; they’re simply part of the journey. Over time, Jamie not only becomes a better musician but also feels a sense of accomplishment and joy from pursuing something they care about.

Bringing Positive Intentions into Your Daily Life

  1. Identify Your True Motivation: The next time you find yourself doing something, pause and ask, “What’s my reason for doing this?” Try to identify whether it comes from a positive place, such as self-care, or from a negative place, like self-criticism.

  2. Choose Kindness and Curiosity: Reframe actions with self-compassion and curiosity. Instead of trying to prove something to yourself or others, approach each task as an opportunity to grow and experience something new.

  3. Set Small Intentions: Setting small, positive intentions each day can help shift your mindset over time. Whether it’s “to feel energized” or “to learn something new,” these simple intentions can give your actions a new, positive focus.

  4. Reflect on the Experience: At the end of the day, reflect on how your intentions influenced your actions and mindset. Celebrate any moments when you acted with compassion or positivity, and consider how you felt in contrast to when you acted out of fear or obligation.

Final Thoughts

Our intentions are powerful—they shape not only our actions but also how we feel about ourselves. By bringing mindfulness to the reasons behind our choices, we can transform everyday actions into practices of self-care and fulfillment. We begin to cultivate a life where even the smallest routines carry meaning and enrich our well-being. The shift might be subtle, but the impact on our lives can be profound.