Gottman Method therapists in Waccabuc, New York NY

I am a fat, queer, neurodiverse, cisgender therapist who knows the importance of feeling seen and understood by your therapist. As a member of the LGBTQ+ community I want to offer gender and queer-affirming services to those who identify as gay, lesbian, transgender, TGNC, gender non-conforming, genderqueer, gender fluid, intersex, CNM, polyamorous, kink, and questioning. I also believe in the importance of sharing space for multiple identities and being a culturally competent provider.  

My goal as a therapist is to create a warm, supportive, genuine and safe environment where you alone or with your significant other feel comfortable sharing with me your negative repetitive pattern that prevents you from from sailing through your relationship more smoothly. I want to help you to reinvent your marriage or long term relationship so that your lives intersect in the same space so I can get the opportunity to teach you how to respect each other's differences and teach you how you can agree to disagree and yet you are still able to say "I love you." I can help you both to come up with a common love language when you are home and happy or not so happy; and I can also teach you another love language that works well publicly. One works well in the bedroom and the other works well in front of strangers. All couples must develop love languages that work well privately and publicly. I want your relationship to maintain the love that brought you together in the first place. You may wonder why your love is not consistent, and you may notice that the respect you once had for one another has dissipated and the personal meaning once attached to your relationship is no longer there.. Most couples in your situation have what I refer to as their own "dance of anger" that happens again and again and again. By this, I mean couples fight about different issues but the way that they fight takes on a repetitive negative pattern and that pattern is their way of expressing anger and/or rage, regardless of the argument at hand. I refer to the way that most couples argue and fight as their "dance of anger". Remember, you can't change your partner and that is why you need professional advice. I can be your "go to person" who can teach you how to effectively communicate when you once again have disagreements that can be a threat to the survival of your relationship. I only accept accept couples who really want to preserve their relationship and can tell me that they are willing to put in the hard work, because married monogamous relationships are difficult to sustain, but by taking your marriage vows seriously, you both signed up for a loving partnership for a lifetime. Taking your vows and dancing at your wedding is just not enough because everyone's life is difficult. Life is more like "a bowl of cherries" and despite the succulent juice from the cherries, you will still have to deal with "the pits." We can't always dance through our problems. Despite making yourselves an expensive wedding or having gone to the court to take your vows,-what all married couples dwell on is trust. Is one person feeling like they don't trust the other or both feel the same way when it comes to trust, then pick up your phone to call Lorna Hayim-Baker at Riverdale Therapy & Counseling Services. I offer a free phone consultation before accepting new couples. I tell the truth when I counsel couples, and therefore, I vet each couple before I agree to meet with them in an "in person session" to avoid sessions where one partner or both can blow up my session because their personality does not mesh well with mine. My heart goes out to everyone who is about to experience "a bad breakup" or "a disastrous divorce.". I go many extra miles for each and every couple who comes into my office. I try to understand their shared stories and having a shared story is a lot easier to problem solve because they are in sync; but more often than not, I have to hear out each partner because they each have different stories to tell. I decipher their own personal stories because, in reality, there are two different versions of the same presenting problem and then their is the third version which is the most realistic story. It is only fair to hear each partner's voice as they often come to session offering their own point of view, but if one pays close attention, it often seems like there are 2-3 different problems; but in reality, there are two different sides about he same problem and sometimes even a third side that the therapist discovers and is being presented by each person. All three stories are different versions of the same problem. All sides are carefully listened to and It takes time to hear each person's interpretation of the same arguments. All stories are aired and I do my best to come up with possible solutions by providing lots of feedback. Couples can disagree with me about possible solutions that are offered. I have become very attuned to my couples because I have been doing this type of therapy for a very long time. I listen carefully to their presenting problems before providing feedback. I am not always right but I am pretty intuitive at this point in my career. Someone must try to understand the couple who came in to preserve their relationship and the hope is that I, as their therapist will remain neutral and unbiased in order to shed light on why the couples are not hearing each other as they each struggle to voice their complaints. More often than not, one or both partners become very defensive and neither one is listening to the other and their fight escalates. That's why they need an unbiased and caring therapist to intervene and help the couple deescalate by having them share the details of the original complaint that turned into a communication breakdown. Couples begin fighting right in front of me & my job is to stop their dispute and call a halt to their bickering so we can examine why their communication pattern broke down in the first place. Both partners are acting out and becoming nasty and defensive. Each partner had the same wish, which was to have their voice heard as he or she expresses their own complaint. I need to point out when their wheels are spinning but they are getting nowhere and they are in fact, stuck. Couples need to stop and listen to each other so I can help them come up with a plan that can get them "unstuck." To be an effective couples' counselor means that at the end of the session, the couple walks out with a sense of having a shared understanding of their problems and with a shared sense of hope because they learned how to tackle the types of ineffective communications that lead to "blow out fights" Hopefully, I will be your therapist who teaches you how to not add fuel to the fire. I want to be part of the solution and teach couples how to stop turning molehills into mountains. I am the therapist who loves watching love as it grows and makes both partners seem so much more mature.  

Cook Counseling and Consulting Inc. is a group of highly trained professionals providing mental health services based in Columbus, Ohio. We work with individuals, couples, and families across the lifespan, focusing on young adults. We are also experts in LGBTQIA+ and ENM/ polyamory. Many of our clients have found great success in many facets of their lives but struggle to manage their emotions and stress. We are particularly sensitive to those experiencing life transitions like moving, a breakup, changing jobs, graduating, or beginning a new relationship when self-doubt and increased anxiety and depression can emerge. Our approach is rooted in evidence-based treatment that focuses on helping clients understand how their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are related so that they can begin making targeted and sustainable changes. Our clinicians blend person-centered therapy with cognitive-behavioral therapy, dialectal behavior therapy, motivational interviewing and acceptance, and commitment therapy. We help clients understand their physical and emotional responses to stressors and learn to problem-solve ways to introduce moments of calm, to choose to respond rather than react in the face of change. Cook Counseling and Consulting Inc. focuses on ensuring our clients see real progress. We are warm, laid back, and affirming. We are sensitive to the influence of past experiences on present challenges, and we work closely with clients to reframe the narrative of their life in a way that increases self-confidence and self-compassion. Our priority in starting with a new client is ensuring that they feel safe, heard, and like an equal partner in the therapeutic process. We offer the convenience of remote sessions to help make therapy a core component of your self-care calendar.  

Experience more joy in your life and relationships! Get unstuck, stop living from fear, learn how to trust again, regain or improve your self-esteem, and simply work on feeling better. Have your sessions in the more-than-human world, out in the fresh air, supported by nature in a private space and/or in the wonderful healing presence of horses, or by teletherapy if you prefer. My SpiritedScience® programs offer solace in the spirit(s) of nature and are especially appropriate for those who may not thrive in a conventional psychotherapy setting.  

If you want your life to change in a meaningful way, but you need help determining and taking the individual steps required to meet your goals, therapy is an excellent choice. Many people expect therapy to involve sessions where there is emotion focused discussion and deep introspection. With a Cognitive-Behavioral approach, the emotions or feelings are secondary in the healing process. We focus on how your actions impact your circumstances, and how you can change your behavior to change the life you’re living. If that sounds like what you’re looking for, we are likely a good fit. I love sharing what I know so that you can feel and act better in your life. We will collaborate to set goals and track improvements as they occur. I believe we all have brand new opportunities to make new choices in each moment that will improve our lives. The power to change is not dependent on our past choices but on how we decide to live in this moment. I work with individuals, couples, and families. I give a lot of advice and see myself as an educator who can use my knowledge to equip you with helpful tools. I am trained in the Gottman method and believe that conflict between partners is inevitable and that improving the frequency and quality of positive interactions is vital to long-term stability of the relationship. I also work with children and their families, especially focusing on ADHD, ODD, and anxiety. When a child is experiencing these sorts of concerns, I approach progress and resolution with the parents and child together. I believe in the goodness of children, and that setting them up for good choices is something that rests largely in the family environment. I am also an expert in ADHD evaluation and treatment. I am very thorough in my reports and recommendations. Evolutionarily, ADHD is a strength, and I love helping shed light on how to best navigate this world with an eye to the strengths and available strategies and habits that can set you on a sustainable path.