I have been divorced. I was married for four years and tried to fit in with my family and friends. Divorce is an ongoing grieving process for a while. First when thinking of divorce or in marital counseling, we may be angry and blaming our spouse for certain things. Then there may be a separation where we get to feel other feelings. Until the divorce is complete through the courts we are still attached and unavailable. We may have guilt about not following through on our marriage vows. We may be upset because we knew it wouldn't work from the beginning. We may also not know who we are as we defined ourselves through the marriage and what we did together. And frequently feelings of failure surface. Divorce is a transition. Many of us just cannot live together. My opinion is that it too easy to get married and too difficult to get divorced because of money, friends, family, etc. It usually takes a good year to a year in a half living together before we know if this is the person for me as a life partner. The chemicals of oxytocin in our bodies get released when we are dating somebody new. This feeling brings us together in what we call love. However, real lasting Love takes longer to cultivate and it takes 1-1 1/2 years for the oxytocin to wear off so we can see our partners for who they really are. In short, oxytocin and sex make us stupid to jump into committed relationships before both parties are ready.
Even a 'good' divorce can shake the ground under your feet. Dismantling a shared life is difficult and you may be having a lot of contradictory feelings: grief mixed with relief, compassion and anger. It can take some time to start to grieve and to figure out how you want to rebuild your life. In our work together we'll make space for all of the feelings and we'll work through what lessons you want to learn and figure out what you want moving forward.
I am a clinical psychologist who is compassionate and dynamic with over 17 years in practice. I integrate philosophies from the medical, psychological and self-help communities in order to treat the whole person. Also, I am a positive person who focuses on my clients strengths to help them heal.
Divorce can be both a gift and a curse; in any case, it is rarely easy, particularly when children are involved. As my own therapist once advised many years ago when I worked through my own divorce, you cannot expect to dismantle a family without having to walk through the rubble. I help couples and individuals work on their relationship yet also recognize when letting go and parting may be a healthier solution. Helping individuals divorce mindfully and with compassion is the goal from my perspective.
Navigating a marriage that has ended being single when in a different stage of life can present difficulties. Therapy and help determine your new direction and improving your understanding of yourself (in and out of relationships) or validating the struggle as you develop a new identity/self.
Changes in relationships and our families can happen at any time. PhilaTherapy, LLC. works with couples who are in the separation or divorce stages to process and assist with all the feelings, thoughts, and behaviors one experiences during this time. We work with individuals, the couple and family members to address the challenges associated with separation and divorce.
Psychologist, PsyD, Licensed Psychologist - Marriage Family Therapy
I am a holistic psychologist with over 30 yrs experience working with individuals, couples and business people. I am a therapist and coach who both listens deeply and provides specific tools to help you solve your problems, create better relationships and improve your life or business.