Are you beginning to recognize that you might be a people pleaser? This behaviour often shows up as an overwhelming urge to be nice and to go out of your way to ensure that others like you. You may find yourself working extra hours or taking on additional tasks—not out of genuine enthusiasm, but out of a deep-seated fear of rejection and a longing for acceptance. This tendency can lead you to evaluate your self-worth based on how much you feel valued by others.
In your relationships, do you hold back from expressing your true thoughts? Do you avoid conflict at all costs to keep the peace? If you suppress your own feelings to fit in, you might be engaging in people pleasing.
The Roots of People Pleasing
People pleasing often arises from a belief that we are not good enough as we are, or unworthy of the love, attention, and success we desire. Many individuals may have experienced a lack of attention in certain areas during childhood, leading them to adapt by striving to be “the good child” or “the responsible sibling.” This need for validation can cause you to lose sight of your own voice and feel disappointed when you realize that your self-worth relies on external approval.
It’s crucial to understand that most people are focused on their own lives and challenges. If you depend on others to affirm your value, you risk setting yourself up for disappointment. When you lack clarity about your own feelings and needs, you fail to set boundaries, allowing others to dictate how you should be treated. This can lead to a cycle where your happiness hinges on how others perceive you.
To break free from this cycle, it’s essential to prioritize your own needs and examine where your actions may not align with your true feelings.
Helpful Tips to Overcome People Pleasing
Here are some practical strategies to help you navigate and overcome people pleasing behaviours:
1. Recognize Your Triggers: Identify specific situations or people that prompt you to people please. Understanding these triggers can help you respond differently in the future.
2. Practice Saying No: Start with small requests. Declining minor favors can boost your confidence to set boundaries in more significant situations.
3. Reflect on Your Feelings: Spend time contemplating your emotions and inner needs. Ask yourself what you truly feel rather than defaulting to what you believe others want to hear.
4. Cultivate Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge that it’s okay to prioritize your own needs and that you deserve to be heard.
5. Seek Support: Discuss your struggles with friends or a therapist you feel comfortable with. Sharing your experiences can provide validation and offer fresh perspectives.
6. Set Clear Boundaries: Define what is acceptable for you and communicate your limits to others. Protecting your emotional well-being is essential.
7. Focus on Your Values: Identify what matters most to you and align your actions with those values instead of seeking external approval.
8. Engage in Self-Care: Prioritize activities that nurture your mind and body. Engaging in self-care can enhance your self-worth independent of others’ opinions.
Watch My Overcoming People Pleasing Video on YouTube:
For further support, take advantage of my free self-help mindfulness series on YouTube. It’s designed to help you explore these themes and empower your journey toward self-awareness: https://youtu.be/N87pooM4Dy8?si=0TitmDmYvgikETnP
The Path Forward
Ultimately, the goal is to learn to value yourself as you are, not as others perceive you. Start setting boundaries, expressing your true feelings, and taking actions that reflect your authentic self. Hiding your emotions can lead to unhappiness, anxiety, or depression.
Take a moment to reflect: Am I a people pleaser? Do I fear rejection? Is my self-worth tied to others’ perceptions? It’s time to redirect the focus back to yourself.
I encourage you to visit my FREE self-help mindfulness series on my website for resources that can assist you on this journey: https://www.awarenessinhealth.com/free-self-help-mindfulness-series/
Take the First Step Today
If you’re ready to break free from the patterns of people pleasing, mindfulness-based therapy can be a transformative experience. I specialize in helping individuals navigate anxiety, low self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness. Together, we can work towards fostering a healthier self-image and building meaningful boundaries.
For more helpful resources and articles on anxiety, self-confidence, and more, visit my TherapyTribe profile: https://www.therapytribe.com/listing/arne-pedersen-awareness-in-health-hypnotherapist-victoria-british-columbia-canada-v8v/
🌟 Struggling with people pleasing? At Awareness In Health, we offer Online & In-Person mindfulness-based counselling hypnotherapy to help you reclaim your voice and set healthier boundaries.
Schedule a free 1-hour Zoom video consultation with me today to take the first step towards a more empowered, authentic future:
https://www.awarenessinhealth.com/contact/
Visit my website Blog to explore other Self-Help Videos:
https://www.awarenessinhealth.com/blog-main-page/
About Arne Pedersen
My name is Arne Pedersen, and I am a mindfulness-based counselling hypnotherapist based in Victoria, BC. I provide both online and in-person therapy, specializing in support for low self-esteem, people pleasing, and feelings of unworthiness.
Learn more about my services
https://www.awarenessinhealth.com
Wishing you a wonderful day as you cultivate a deeper sense of self-awareness and self-acceptance!